It's about coffee, but there's a hilarious science-y bit towards the end, and I thought of you. :D
But like, mildly! I already feel better! And my face is, well, not any more swollen! :D!
Nothing to do but let it run it's course and wash my hands a lot. If it gets worse I'll go to the doctor.
So I got my paper done. Yaaaaaay! It was pretty freaking crappy! Yaaaaaaaaaaay! I barely edited it ("Teacher : SOME PEOPLE didn't even bother to reread their work before handing it in...*stare* Me : lol..."). But I blame its crappyness on...
DUH DUH DUH
I have a fever! WOO!
I neeeeeeeeeever get fevers. I rarely get sick! France has done terrible things to me. It's weird. I'm not good at having a fever, I keep wandering around and napping and right now I'm wearing three sweaters and a towel because I'm so freaking cold. It's kind of neat. I feel fuzzy. It's also making my school work less than chuality. Ho hum.
I talked to my landlady today and she was like "Are you okay?" and I was like "Eh, not feeling great" and she was like "I can tell by your eyes that you have a fever." and I was like ".......................................
But I guess she was right. Crazy magic landlady...
But I also work up this morning and my jaw and ear were crazy swollen. Still are actually. I either slept REALLY weird or I slept really weird AND my TMJ is pissed of because of it or I have a wee inflamation of my parotid gland or I have mumps... OR PLAGUE!!!111 (really kids, goggling your symptoms is like, the dumbest thing a person can do. Seriously, those medical sites are filled with wackos.)
Whatever, if it gets WORSE I will consider a doctor (OH GOD). Life is grand...
And I'm done.
So instead, I give you the cutest thing ever. Look at him. D'AWWWWWWWWW
YAAAAAAAAAAAY!
a) Hungry
b) Not feeling well
c) PMS-ing
d) Really stressed
Today, I was all four. When I got to the cashier, I put down 10 bananas, expensive orange juice, microwave dinners, a chocolate bar, M&Ms with peanuts, chocolate Trésor cereal, and TAMPONS. I think it was relatively obvious to the cashier from my purchases what was going down.
She's just lucky I didn't start sobbing when she asked me if I had a client card...
The moral of the story, kids, is...um...
*eats chocolate*
TELL ME THE MOST RANDOM THINGS THAT HAVE MADE YOU CRY! Like, hormone based tears. Tears for things that don't really rate tears, or at least not tears in the quantity you gave.
I was sitting alone at home watching Little People Big World, and in that episode a friend of their family dies suddenly, and I started to BAWL. I started my period next day lol.
Once I was walking home from class In Toronto and Josh Groban's "I'll be Home for Christmas" stared playing and I started to cry in public lol. I blame exam period and Christmas-y feelings.
I alwaaaaays used to cry during the Toronto Humane Society show where they try and get you to sponsor. Especially this one where they had this sad little old dog that no one wanted and that was sick, so they put him down and you watch him close his little eyes and...and.... ;~;
Now GO!
Edit : I FORGOT THE LAND BEFORE TIME. ONLY THE FIRST ONE WHEN THE MOM DIES AND A
Please be warned, it contains sad things to do with a kitty.
( look at your own risk of snot )
God... I need to go to bed.
WATCH-A-DETAILED-BLOW-BY-BLOW-ACCOUNT-OF-M
I, once again, have left an important task to the last minute. But never fear! Where there is a will there is pass/fail credits! 50% OR BUST! So instead of getting cracking, watch me idle time away on LJ until panic sets in and then sit back and watch the flailing and freaking out begin! 123GO!
THE GOAL: A 5-7 page paper on "Armament, Disarmament, and the Cold War 1945-1979"
THE DEADLINE: tomorrow! (but haha! I never said when I would email her, haha!)
THE TWIST: It is ~*en francais*~, AND the 5-7 page limit is NOT DOUBLE SPACED. So it's like, 10 - 14 pages in normal university language. Fuck. ALSO, this was actually due last Thursday, and is on my "Foreign Kid Extension". ALSO ALSO, I know JACK SHIT about this topic. I have been, let's say, less then attentive in class. And this, while listed as a "History" class, is actually a "History of International Relations" course. Did I mention I'm not a fan of International Relations...? Well, I'm not. And to add that final blow to the lady-gonads, I started my period today (which explains why I ate 3 Twix bars yesterday and cried listening to "Ricky Come Home" like, 4 times) and everything is closed so I CAN'T GET ANY MORE FUCKING CHOCOLATE. I'm also slightly hungover. Can I get a medal for being super-dooper dumb?
THE ODDS: It's looking grim, doctor...
11:46 : I opened a Wikipedia page on the Cold War, bu then got distracted by Wikipedia's siren call and spent an hour reading about famines in history. Poor choice. Came here and started this entry. The road to procrastination is paved with El Jay...
11:50 : Stared at wall for a bit. V. rewarding.
12:35 : Wasted 45 minutes uploading "Ricky Come Home" so you can all FEEL MY SADNESS. Good job winner.
12:58 : Caught whiff of own stench. I feel a shower will increase productivity by at least 15%. Also, clean hair will give the self-confidence necessary to enter the kitchen for procurement of yum-yums, despite presence of multiple strangers in apartment (WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? AGH!)
1:21 : Still have not showered. Instead went on Go Fug Yourself. Woo!
1:50 : Ahh, all clean. Obviously, now the real learning can commence.
2:49 : Read more Wikipedia and heated up some left-overs to stop the rumbly in my tumbly. I consider this progress.
3:42 : May have partaken in an episode of "How I Met Your Mother"...
4:06 : Vague outline. Spirits : high.
5:45 : Durr Hurr Hurp
6:24 : Played with Octave the Kitty for half an hour. A+ for time management. To make up for it, I decided to say "EFF THE MAN!" and make my paper 1.5 spacing (she never actually specified, and it's the norm for the rest of my classes, sooooooooooo...) Now have 2/5 pages. V. proud.
7:16 : Zero progress. I've started working on my exposé for Thursday, that is how much I don't want to finish this paper. I'm like "Maybe... if I do OTHER school things.... this school thing... will GO AWAY." Alas, not luck thus far.
9:15 : Just Skyped for 2 hours. Obviously the best use of my time, IMO.
11:05 : I do believe that the shear number of comments below is evidence enough that I am doing.jack.all. Eff yeah 2 1/2 pages.
12:32 : Dear God, I've basically just given up. I've done the academic version of curling up to go die in a corner. My plan is to fuck off and finish it tomorrow by around 5-6pm. This way the panic has time to settle in, and I can get it done. Yeah, that's a GREAT plan...
Now, I'm sort of not sure how I feel about this. I mean, on one hand, A CHANCE TO REDEEM MYSELF! Also, it's true, my inability to comprehend French methodology and my not being a francophone does give me problems that the French students don't have to deal with (they don't know how to write a research paper (FOR REAL), I don't know how to write an exposé or a fiche téchnique, so it goes both ways)
On the other hand, when French students take English classes with foreign kids, they're not given any special treatment (most of the time, some profs will excuse if they make mistakes in English). So I'm kind of feeling like a dumbass for being enough of a...well... dumbass to need "special slow foreign kid" treatment.
But...
I CAN GET MARKS BACK! AND HAND IN AN ASSIGNMENT LATE! BECAUSE I'M FOREIGN AND AN ANGLO!
I feel I should go with the 'not looking a gift horse in the mouth' thing...
(I never thought I'd ever be considered foreign before. And for the longest time I was calling myself an ~*international student*~, but the French kids call us les étrangers/les étudiants étrangers, so foreign it is!)
So I notice yesterday that a "devoir maison" (HOME WORK) is due today in class. Confused I send an email, but I get no response from the T.A. In class, i see people handing GIANT PAPERS. So I get an email tonight saying "Oh the ~*devoir maison*~ was "the subject I gave you at the beginning of the year" and lists a topic about the Cold War.
Oh, I fucking see.
WHAT THE FUCK. IF THERE WAS A GODDAMN PAPER DUE, WHY IS IT CALLED 'HOME WORK' AND WHY WOULD YOU ONLY MENTION IT ONCE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR. OBVIOUSLY IT WAS IN PASSING, BECAUSE I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO RECOLLECTION OF IT.
And in that STUNNING email she sent, she gives NO DETAILS. No length, no instructions, no indication as to what sort of extension I have. Just "Armament, disarmament, and the cold war 1949-1979". WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
This shit would NEVER FLY at U of T. Is it too much to ask that assignments be LABELED on the syllabus as more then a footnote that says "Homework due"?
I also have a presentation next Thursday with a partner I can't get a hold of who doesn't show up to class, a paper due the same day that has NO GUIDLINES. (Seriously, some people make theirs 1 page, some 3, all text, pictures, no pictures, WHATEVER YOU WANT. IT'S AN ORGY OF FAIL.)
I also failed a text (in the same class), at least in part because the T.A CLEARY SAID 'This test will be EASY and only on DATES" and it turned out to be short answer questions on things like "Describe the European concert after WWII". When I asked a French girl about it later, so was like "Oh oui, in ~*France*~ when they say it's only on one topic, it's on everything you learned." GEE, GOOD TO KNOW.
ALSO (the rage continues) courses are over half done for the semester, and one prof JUST assigned the topics for the final papers. They're all due at different times (W.T.F) and then A WEEK LATER he emails when each one is due. Mine in due on the 25 of November. GEE PROF, THANKS FOR THE NOTICE.
I...JUST...I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. THIS SCHOOL IS SO GODDAMN DISORGANISED. NOTHING MAKES SENSE. SYLLABI ARE USELESS. DUE DATES ARE ARBITRARY. (Literally, I have a paper that is due "After the 15th... but before Christmas? I'll probably be full of turkey... but no later then January!" JUST PICK A GODDAMN DATE!). THE ADMINISTRATION IS SO SCREWED UP. THE VISA OFFICE IS OPEN 6 HOURS A WEEK. I WENT TO GO HAND IN A FORM CONCERNING MY VISA TO THE REGISTRARS OFFICE ONLY TO FIND A NOTE SAYING "OFFICE CLOSED FOR WEEK, THX".
GDIUSLGBFSHILGSL THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN AT U OF T. THE REGISTRAR'S OFFICE DOES NOT CLOSE RANDOMLY. DUE DATES ARE (SLIGHTLY) MORE FIXED. INSTRUCTIONS FOR ASSIGNMENTS ARE GIVEN. ASSIGNMENTS ARE LISTED. THEYA ARE AT LEAST MENTIONED IN MORE THE
I hate this school...so much. It's so pretentious and snotty but it just fucking fails.
I'm going to go cry and eat a Twix or something. Damnit...
Many countries require all citizens to fulfill a mandatory period of service in the armed forces. Do you agree or disagree with this policy? Do you think the current recruitment system creates or sustains socioeconomic inequality? Submitted By |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
THIS WAS THE ONE I MEANT TO RESPOND TO. IGNORE THE POST BELOW, IT IS MADE OF FAIL.
I didn't want to delete it and delete Marli's comments lol...
Can you imagine if I had to join the army. There wouldn't be enough pants IN THE WORLD to replace the ones I peed in distress. Also, I don't think there's a real ranking of "Corporal Whiny Pants", so I'm not sure what they'd be able to call me.
EDIT: OOPS. Wrong question? See above. I fail.
GOD, this is like that time in highschool with Marli and the vending machine and the gym class.
"Damn! Now we'll have to go to the FURTHEST Smarties machine, in plain sight of everyone! *pause* DUH DUH DUUUUUH'"
I'll just sneak out later once everyone has tucked in for the night. That is totally the most pathetic thing ever, but for Ben and Jerry's, I am willing.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY PARIS.
I...I didn't get you anything... *awkward stare*
The poor kitty, though, he likes to cuddle up by your face, and I distinctly remember at one point accidentally punching him in the face when he scared me awake by sticking his nose in my eye.
Poor thing. I fed him extra to say sorry.
In retaliation, though, this morning he sat at the foot of my bed and every time my toes peeked out he pounced and mauled them. It would happen when I was half asleep and it scared the every living crap out of me.
SO, when last we left our intrepid adventurer, I was leaving the house. This happened without incident (as the 'scary noises' I was hearing turned out to be a party chez the Jewish bakery below me. I'm a wuss.)
So I get to the bar in the Marais where this party is supposed to be, and where I'm supposed to meet two friends. Let it be known that I downed half a bottle of wine before I left, so I was sort of chatty. So while in line, I strike up conversation with the girl in front of me, who turns out to be from D.C and going to school in Boston. She was like "Oh, so you're American?" and I was like "No, but CLOSE ENOUGH!". Then she claimed the hear my Canadian accent. but I sense lies to keep the conversation going lol.
So anyways I was like "You meeting people?" and she was like "Not really" so I was like "Oh honey, you stay with me then." So we went to the bar and were trying to get drinks. And thus, the weirdness begins...
This guy turns around and starts talking to me. He's like, "Could you kiss me? I want your lipstick on my neck."
Now, to most normal people the answer is "WTF NO." but apparently I get sort of skanky when I drink so I was like "Alrighty, whatever. So long as it's not on the mouth because I don't want herpes". So he was sort of hot so I kissed him. (I know I know.....).
BUT, it turns out HE'S A TOTAL PLAYER. HE WAS SO GROSS. I eventually met a couple other friends who I didn't even think would be there (the original people I was supposed to meet never showed lol). So I hung with them and some dude.
Eventually, though, the dude is like "Lets get out of here, my friend knows a better place." And who does that friend turn out to me? ICKY SKANKY PLAYER DUDE.
He comes up to us and puts his arm around me and one of the other girls and is like "We going to go to this crazy club." AND THEN HE SQUEEZES MY BOOB AND WALKS A
I was like "Wait... What....? HEY. HEY YOU FUCKING TURN FACE!" because I am master of delayed reaction. My friends we outraged for me, but I was like "You know, I think I'm getting used to it......... -_-"
So a group of us follow these guys, having no idea where we're going. We take a random subway to some random stop and walk FOREVER until we stop in front of some building with a huge line. We skip the line and go to the other side and the french guys (including Sir Grabby Hands) start bitching at the bouncer and PAY OFF ONE OF THEM.
So we skip the line and go to the sixth floor of this hoity-toity building, full of scary looking girls and guys in suits. I was like "Omg where the fuck am I. People are probably doing blow in the corner....".There were security guards guarding the toilets. Everything on the floors below up were fashion boutiques.
Wait... OMG. My friend had been rambling something about Sex and the City, and it turns out this place was one of the locations for the final episode. Check it. I was at Le Kong. Haha faaaaaaaaaaail.
After about an hour of dancing I was like "Omg, dudes, it's nearly 2am. I need to catch the subway". They were like "Noooooooooo, we'll take the night bus!" so i was like "Fine, but I need more booze if I'm going to pull that shit." So we get to the bar and my friend orders a vodka on the rocks and a beer and the total is 25 EUROS! WTF.
I saw that and I was like "OH FUCK NO. BAIL." So I left, because I wasn't paying that much to get re-pickled. I caught the second last subway, and staggered home, where I microwaved a burger and nomed in front of the computer.
And that is the story of how I accidentally ended up partying at one of the Sex and the City locations.
Lol.
Only problem is that there is a lot of yelling and screaming coming from outside, so I'm starting to get really nervous about leaving the house. I know once I get onto the subway it will be fine. It's just the getting that far that can be tricky lol (as proven by that time I got called a slut by a group of guys on my way to the subway stop).
I should bring the meat cleaver...
Edit: Turns out all of the ruckus was coming from the Jewish bakery that I live on top of. They were having some sort of party and it was full of preteens/teens. So I'm think bar/bat mitzvah...?
Edit: HOLY FUCK. I just got back and I just had THE WEIRDEST HALLOWEEN EVER.
What makes it worse is that last week, the group was, well, less than chuality~ (they made some broad generalised statements and played into certain racial stereotypes... yikes.) When they were done the prof like, DESTROYED THEM. And when we got into class today (A WEEK LATER), he CONTINUED TO DESTROY THEM. It was like watching a car crash.... D:
And before that, he's always been sort of brutal with the groups.
So, needless to say, I was like 'OMFG IF THIS IS BAD HE IS GOING TO FUCK US UP ' and I kept looking at my partner all like "I CAN'T DO THIS. FUCK IT, BAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
But we presented and at the end he was like "That was good." and I could have fainted right there. I was like 'I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO HAVE MY WORK CALLED 'GOOD'. I AM GOING TO TAKE THAT "THAT WAS GOOD", AND IMA TREASURE IT. (8)I HEARD THERE WAS A SECRET CHORD THAT DAVID PLAYED AND IT PLEASED THE LORD HALELUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUJAH HALLUUUUUJAH." sort of relief.
He did rip us a bit (one section should have had a subsection, the court cases we referenced could have been elaborated on for the sake of the class etc etc). But I was just standing there like "................:D................"
WE SAID HE LIKED THE AUTHORS I REFERENCED, AND THAT I REFERENCED THEM WELL. GISLGDS
I'm hoping that next week he's not like "WELL, that was the good part, not to rip last weeks group a new one...". but WHATEVER.
IT WAS GOOD.
Edit: You know what goes well with a good day? Half a bottle of wine and some awesome cereal. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *SAUCED*
I love how she's like "THERE IS A FLURRY OF ACTIVITY!"
THERE WAS ONE TENT.
I also love how we have a predetermined protest area called the "Safety Zone".
So like I have ranted before, after wading through the utter shit storm that is getting a French student visa, to my utter glee I discover that it's NOT valid for a year, but for 3 months. So, by the end of November, I have to get a Carte de Séjour (or 'Long Term Stay Card' or 'CDS' or 'Fuck This Shit I'm Out of Here').
So, when I got the Visa they were like "Oh btw, you need a long form birth certificate to get the CDSÈ. Cool, I got it. Upon arrival here, I'm told I also need proof of residence. Okay, so I need to wait until I move into the apartment. So I move into the apartment, and then I find out (NOT THROUGH THE CONSULATE OR THE SCHOOL SITE OR THE PREFECTURE, BUT BY WORD OF MOUTH) that I have to get a chest X-Ray.
What. The. Balls.
YOU GUYS ARE SCARED OF TUBERCULOSIS? ARE YOU SHITTING ME.
So I find this out and I'm like FINE. WHEN I GET MY APARTMENT CONTRACT SO I CAN GET A BANK ACCOUNT SO I CAN BUY INSURANCE THAT CAN BE MY PROOF OF RESIDENCE, I WILL GO TO THE OFFICE AND GET AN APPOINTMENT TO GET A BLOODY X-RAY AS WELL. JUST ONE MORE THING TO ADD TO THIS SHIT LIST OF FAIL.
So I finally get all of that (a few days ago), and I email a girl being like "Soooo, how do I schedule the appointment?" and she's like "Well, I scheduled mine the first week I was here, and got the X-ray done a month later."
A month?
A FUCKING MONTH?!?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME????
Oh balls.
So basically, if I schedule it tomorrow (because OH YEAH, the office you do it at is only open two days a week, for four hours at a time), and it takes a month, I will have everything MAYBE for A WEEK before it is due. Also, I'm totally getting a chest cold. So knowing my luck, I'd get it done soon but they'd be like 'LOL, YOU HAVE TEH BACONPEST, PLEASE TO BE GOING AWAY'
Ohmygod, I'm going to get deported. It's going to be HILARIOUS.
This country is a massive fucking vortex of swirling fucking failure. I'm going to set it on fucking fire when I leave/am deported.
Words cannot describe my rage.
Now, to lighten the mood, my favourite macro!
The beady eyes, the open mouth, the confused lisp I imagine him yelling 'I LIEK CHOCOLATE MILK' in. It's magical.
I feel better already :D
